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Disputes are often about much more than what parties initially state. Whether fighting over a neighbor's barking dog, division of marital property, wrongful termination, or the breach of a multi-million dollar contract, parties are often driven more by feelings of personal hurt, betrayal, vindictiveness or shame, and by cognitive distortions, projection, and transference, than they are by the substantive merits of their case.
Many mediation trainings focus on important techniques such as evaluating BATNA/WATNA, calculating likelihood of success on the merits, communicating offers and counter-offers and the like, but rarely offer in-depth guidance on handling the difficult human dynamics that underlie all disputes, legal or otherwise. Without confidence and skill in dealing effectively with the psychological and emotional issues that frequently entangle interpersonal relationships, those attempting to assist in the resolution of disputes are at a substantial disadvantage.
In this three-hour skill-based training, Stephen H. Sulmeyer, JD, PhD, lawyer, psychotherapist and mediator, will introduce participants to psychological fundamentals that are essential for the effective mediation of disputes, using a combination of lecture, discussion, demonstration and experiential exercises. In addition to learning indispensable skills to improve communication, and identifying and resolving unspoken barriers to resolution of conflicts, participants will deepen their understanding of their own and others' motivations, defenses and psychological strategies around conflict.
Participants will also have an opportunity to investigate their own assumptions about law, psychology, conflict, and interpersonal relationships that derive from both our shared cultural worldview and our own families of origin, and how these assumptions often blind us to creative paths to conflict resolution. Topics in this session include: Thinking outside the lawyer box Understanding the psychology of conflict Unconditional presence and dynamic listening Identifying the most common psychological obstacles to resolving conflicts Working skillfully with difficult human interactions in mediation Getting the parties to talk to one another aboutthe real issues Helping the parties to become more open, real, and human with each other Learning how mediators can unconsciously contribute to impasse
Stephen H. Sulmeyer, JD, PhD, is a lawyer, clinical psychologist, and mediator in Marin County, California. As a mediator, he blends his experience in law, business, psychology, aikido and vipassana meditation to create a unique approach to dispute resolution. His approach encourages parties to engage each other as human beings rather than as adversaries; to make meaningful contact rather than merely listen; and to identify and work with, rather than shy away from the underlying psychological obstacles that are often the real barriers to the resolution of conflicts. Steve is chairperson of the Marin County Bar Association's Alternative Dispute Resolution Section, and a member of the Association for Dispute Resolution of Northern California (ADRNC), as well as numerous legal and psychological organizations. He received his undergraduate and law degrees from Stanford University, and his PhD from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology.
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